Indeed, life continues to roll on without Zion here. Blast it! Of course some days are worse than others, but to tell you the truth, the last few days I've almost, ALMOST felt...normal. I've laughed and played with Grace the way I used to. I don't yell at Seth when he breathes wrong and I find myself smiling and looking forward to things again. I've been thinking a lot lately about how awesome it is that my sons are in heaven! How truly amazing for them to have never suffered a thing here on earth! What is there to be sad about? I'm happy for them! But, I am human and selfish and selfishly, I want to hold them, I want them here. I'm able to smile for my sons and admit that I'm jelous of their lives. It feels good to be able to see a little more normalcy!
-Friday we looked at a couple of houses to get a grasp of what's out there, etc. This is what I learned: If you walk into a house for $200,000 and can't find much to like, you might be in Gilbert. If there are 5 different houses for sale with 3 varying floor plans, you might be in Gilbert. If you feel sick about what $200,000 can (or can't) get you in a house, you might be in Gilbert. We love Gilbert and though we have toyed with the idea of moving, we are here for the long haul. Again, we LOVE Gilbert. Problem is, so does everyone else...hence the high prices! Yipes! It was a bit discouraging and I'll warn you...if you live in a ranch house in Gilbert we may be knocking on your door begging you to sell us your house!
-Saturday we went to Nevada Monument to pick out Zion's headstone. Another sombering "family activity" upon his passing. We had talked through many different ideas about the headstone. Could we move Elijah's and re-do it to encompass both of them? Should they be the same? Different? The thought of 2 matching headstones with our sons names on them seemed cruel, but we could find no way around it. So, as had been done by the funeral home and flower shop...Elijah's record was pulled so we could re create what we had done for him for Zion. Different name and date, slightly different angel/baby picture, but the same purpose fulfilled, a beautiful headstone to honor our sons life.
-Grace is FUNNY! She is a rock star in Tumble Bugs and has mastered the balance beam: forward, backward, side to side and on her tip toes. The spring board is her specialty (it would seem) and just when the teacher convinces the other kids to try this new, more challenging feat, Grace has mastered it and moved on. I was asked by 4 moms today how old she was and they were in shock that my 2 year old was so well behaved and talented. Oh, if they only knew what goes on at home :) She LOVES her dance class and when we approach city hall she yells, "My class! Missed my friends!" She is a pretty good dancer, but is more into freestyle than 1st position! At the park the other day she proclaimed in a very low, raspy voice, "Hey mom! Check out my dance moves." And jumped around like a wild monkey. Another fave Grace quote of the week: when I went to get her from her room the other morning she gives me a big hug and sighing says, "Mommy! I missed you SO MUCH!" It just cracks me up to see these "babies" talking and carrying on actual conversations. Telling me we need to go to the store cause her juice is almost gone or confirming that she gets to watch ONE Dora before nap time. She's just funny...and amazing!!!!!!!!!!!
-Seems like I had a lot to write about and sarcastic comments like crazy, but as Seth's snores come pouring out of the bedroom, I'm reminded I'm more tired than anything. Perhaps tomorrow I'll remember what I had to say...hmmm...
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