Update #600793
House(s): We now live in the Jensen house and LOVE it. Rothmoor house still has not sold, please buy it :) We ended up getting a realtor, so we're hopeful that will help...and cost more $. At this point...we just need to get it off our hands so we can move on. I had a brilliant idea that someone could buy it and rent it out....so spread the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's get this done :)
Mayo: We went to Mayo Clinic this past Monday to see a perinatologist to try to get some more answers and a glimpse to the future of our baby making future. Dr. Rose was AMAZING! He was soooo knowledgeable, honest, helpful and compassionate. He said that aside from street drug use, drinking and smoking (which obviously, is me in a nutshell:) there is no rhyme or reason for what happened with Elijah or Zion. He said more often than not it strikes perfectly healthy people for no reason. Therefore, there are really no preventative measures. He said IF I did get pregnant I would need to be seen every week starting at 20 weeks. If my blood pressure started to go back up they would give injections to speed the baby's lung development...but that would only prolong delivery a couple weeks. (Because early onset preeclampsia, as with Elijah) is at least 40% likely to reoccur. So, there is a good chance we could only get to 30 weeks at best...maybe a 3lb baby. Which then presents it's own problems. Then there was the fact that both preecalmpsia and placental abruption are potentially fatal to the mother. After long discussions and thoughts from family and friends....we made the decision to NOT try again...ever. Too risky for my health and the odds of ever having a healthy baby aren't very good. We feel blessed that God gave us the heart for adoption and that we are OK with not having biological children, whereas some people would rather not have kids if they can't have their own. So, we are taking that and going with it. We are still hoping for a surrogacy try someday but for now.................
Adoption: We met with Jane tonight and found out that Jennifer and Jane had decided WE are the couple to adopt Jennifer's baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jane assured us that Jennifer does not want to/nor can she keep the baby and is excited to be able to give us a baby. We had met with our lawyer earlier this week to see what the process would entail. So here goes: we will hire a Certified Adoption Investigator who will meet with/counsel Jennifer and hunt down the birthfather to get his signature. There will be papers to sign...that's about it. We are planning to be at the hospital when the baby is born and bring him/her home then. Jennifer does not want to see the baby or have any contact after it's born. As with Grace's adoption there are a few waiting periods: the birthparents can NOT terminate their rights until 48 hrs. after delivery. Then they have 96 hrs. after that to change their mind...no questions asked. Once that period passes, we should be in the clear. Obviously, we will have a counselor working with her to do everything we can to ensure she won't change her mind. Jennifer is 37 (same age Grace's birthmother was when she had her) so is at a much easier age to handle these kinds of choices. We are optimistic that she won't change her mind. The harder part, for us, is waiting to get through the pregnancy. She is only...maybe 16 weeks along right now and we sure now how things can change. PLEASE, PLEASE join us in praying for Jennifer. For her decision, her mental health and for a health pregnancy. She is due June 17th and will deliver in Iowa City. We are cautiously excited, to say the least. She will have an ultra sound here in the next couple weeks and we'll get to find out the sex of the baby and see pics :)
And so our dramatic story goes....
God bless you for reading this and praying, and joining us on our journey.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
Oh, HOPE!!!
Let me start with some funny/cute quotes from the day.
*I get out of the shower, pull my underwear out of the drawer and Grace exclaims, "Hey! Jack has those undies!" Looking at the undies with the black lace and tiny pictures of lipstick I ask her to confirm . "Are you sure Jack has these same undies?" Grace: "Yes!"
*As we are rounding the corner to Jack's house. "Whoa! Hang on to your helmets everybody!"
*After going potty Grace says, "I don't have a butt." We tell her this often because her pants don't fit because she has no butt :) I asked her where it went. "It fell off in the potty."
*As I was trying to get Grace to sleep she is blabbing on and on about nothing and suddenly once again points up and says in a whiny voice, "I want my brothers come down. I want them to sleep with us." I teared up and she rolled over and gave me a big kiss.
Moving right along, you will be surprised to find out that this is a blog about HOPE. I've been thinking a lot lately about all the people I know who have lost babies and loved ones and thought, maybe, just maybe God wants us to share about the HOPE that has sprung from tragedy in our life. So here goes nothing. It's probably about time I say something positive anyway :)
I was reflecting tonight about how HOPE, in fact, came to us in the form of a baby. A baby, from the moment of conception is a tiny bundle of HOPE. HOPE for their future, HOPE for the love you will share, HOPE for the life they will lead. The HOPE of salvation for all mankind was indeed, a baby....
A baby = HOPE. Until that HOPE is shattered. I remember very well the horrific, immobilizing pain that took over me after we lost our first son, Elijah (and obviously with Zion too). I remember wondering if I would ever smile again, if I would ever feel happy or grasp HOPE, if I would ever be able to stop wiping tears from my eyes. We prayed and prayed and prayed and were being lifted up in prayer too. We repeated Philippians 4:6-7 over and over and over again.
Believe me, I KNOW that often times HOPE seems far far away, like a dream. But with every ounce you have cling to HOPE and don't let go and I promise that someday the pain will be a memory and joy will overcome you and HOPE will fill your heart again. Imagine being a poor virgin woman and trying to explain to people how you got pregnant. I imagine there was a time of great pain for Mary and what she was going through. But the HOPE that was born months later was certainly, I think, worth it! So we have to hold on and believe in God's grand plan, cling to HOPE and pray for peace.
That being said, I'm still struggling quite a bit with the loss of Zion. I'm having a harder time this time clinging to that HOPE. I know it's there and I know that's what I need...but maybe I refuse to hang on because when you choose to live by faith, sometimes you get hurt. But then...sometimes...you get a miracle.
May you search and find the HOPE in the Christmas season, cling to that HOPE in your life and may HOPE be restored to all mankind.
I've also been thinking for a while about a top 10 list of sorts. A funny/sarcastic but yet true list of things to say/not to say to someone who has lost a baby, struggling with infertility, etc. Here goes. PLEASE note this is meant lighthearted and though they are true, it's just meant as a sarcastic thing...read accordingly :)
DO NOT SAY:
#1. Well at least __________ (fill in the blank. ie. you have one child, you have your health). NO! There is no at least! I want a baby and I don't have one so shut up!
#2. Yeah, it's probably a good idea to wait a while. Umm..no! It's not a good idea, it's necessary. I don't want to wait to try to have more children, I am being forced to against my will. Maybe it's a good idea for you.
#3. God has a plan, trust God, etc. I am well aware of God's plan. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior a long time ago and I am well aware that He has a plan and it's better than I know...but you don't have to remind me. Sometimes, I just wanna be mad.
#4. Well on 16 and pregnant...or teen mom....or any of those other stupid shows. No! I do not want to hear about some kid who got pregnant and is now making money by exposing and glamorizing that life. Some of us fight with all we have for a baby and you accidentally get pregnant and get a show about it. Gross.
#5. He/she is in a better place. Yes, I know. And honestly that is sometimes all that gets me through. But again, you don't have to remind me. I want him HERE, in this place. So unless you can make that happen, hush!
TO SAY:
#1. That SUCKS!
#2. I'm sorry.
#3. You can have my baby.
#4. Oh, here is $50,000 so you can adopt or otherwise pursue a family.
#5. Wow! You look good! :)
I think I deterred from my original HOPE message, but I hope that if you've lost a baby, struggle with infertility (or whatever the case may be) you can find HOPE in stories like ours, in everyday miracles and in the HOPE that was born in a lowly manger so many years ago.
*I get out of the shower, pull my underwear out of the drawer and Grace exclaims, "Hey! Jack has those undies!" Looking at the undies with the black lace and tiny pictures of lipstick I ask her to confirm . "Are you sure Jack has these same undies?" Grace: "Yes!"
*As we are rounding the corner to Jack's house. "Whoa! Hang on to your helmets everybody!"
*After going potty Grace says, "I don't have a butt." We tell her this often because her pants don't fit because she has no butt :) I asked her where it went. "It fell off in the potty."
*As I was trying to get Grace to sleep she is blabbing on and on about nothing and suddenly once again points up and says in a whiny voice, "I want my brothers come down. I want them to sleep with us." I teared up and she rolled over and gave me a big kiss.
Moving right along, you will be surprised to find out that this is a blog about HOPE. I've been thinking a lot lately about all the people I know who have lost babies and loved ones and thought, maybe, just maybe God wants us to share about the HOPE that has sprung from tragedy in our life. So here goes nothing. It's probably about time I say something positive anyway :)
I was reflecting tonight about how HOPE, in fact, came to us in the form of a baby. A baby, from the moment of conception is a tiny bundle of HOPE. HOPE for their future, HOPE for the love you will share, HOPE for the life they will lead. The HOPE of salvation for all mankind was indeed, a baby....
A baby = HOPE. Until that HOPE is shattered. I remember very well the horrific, immobilizing pain that took over me after we lost our first son, Elijah (and obviously with Zion too). I remember wondering if I would ever smile again, if I would ever feel happy or grasp HOPE, if I would ever be able to stop wiping tears from my eyes. We prayed and prayed and prayed and were being lifted up in prayer too. We repeated Philippians 4:6-7 over and over and over again.
"Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to the Lord. And the peace of God which transcends all human understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
Focusing on the peace of God. We needed that. And one day, it came. The peace of God came over us. We couldn't explain it, but it came. And it felt good. And it didn't make sense. But we took a deep breath and forged ahead. Now the pain was not (and never will be) gone, but it was surely a lighter load to bear. We held on to that HOPE and followed where God led. At that point we had NO idea that what God had in store of us would be a joy so much greater than any other emotion ever known. But on June 3rd, 2008 we found out. HOPE was born, that day through a woman named Betty who selflessly decided her daughter needed more than she could give. Betty saw something in us that lead her to allow us the honor of bringing her daughter, our daughter, Grace Eliah home. And in that 3 minute phone call we indeed, felt more joy than ever could compare to the sorrow that overtook us just months prior. "Cause the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming..."
(Before the Morning by Josh Wilson)
We met our daughter and saw Elijah in her. His life and death had brought us to this most amazing moment. HOPE was alive. In a tiny baby. God had never left us, but was rather, orchestrating a grand plan, His plan, a plan to save lives. We like to think of ourselves as Elijah and Zion's birthparents. We carried them, delivered them and then "let" them go to a better home. (I'd say the main difference is we didn't choose to let them go and honestly I don't know if given the choice that's what I would have picked.) But we can live every day with the HOPE of heaven, the HOPE in knowing that Jesus is holding our precious loved ones and the HOPE that we will see them again.Believe me, I KNOW that often times HOPE seems far far away, like a dream. But with every ounce you have cling to HOPE and don't let go and I promise that someday the pain will be a memory and joy will overcome you and HOPE will fill your heart again. Imagine being a poor virgin woman and trying to explain to people how you got pregnant. I imagine there was a time of great pain for Mary and what she was going through. But the HOPE that was born months later was certainly, I think, worth it! So we have to hold on and believe in God's grand plan, cling to HOPE and pray for peace.
That being said, I'm still struggling quite a bit with the loss of Zion. I'm having a harder time this time clinging to that HOPE. I know it's there and I know that's what I need...but maybe I refuse to hang on because when you choose to live by faith, sometimes you get hurt. But then...sometimes...you get a miracle.
May you search and find the HOPE in the Christmas season, cling to that HOPE in your life and may HOPE be restored to all mankind.
I've also been thinking for a while about a top 10 list of sorts. A funny/sarcastic but yet true list of things to say/not to say to someone who has lost a baby, struggling with infertility, etc. Here goes. PLEASE note this is meant lighthearted and though they are true, it's just meant as a sarcastic thing...read accordingly :)
DO NOT SAY:
#1. Well at least __________ (fill in the blank. ie. you have one child, you have your health). NO! There is no at least! I want a baby and I don't have one so shut up!
#2. Yeah, it's probably a good idea to wait a while. Umm..no! It's not a good idea, it's necessary. I don't want to wait to try to have more children, I am being forced to against my will. Maybe it's a good idea for you.
#3. God has a plan, trust God, etc. I am well aware of God's plan. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior a long time ago and I am well aware that He has a plan and it's better than I know...but you don't have to remind me. Sometimes, I just wanna be mad.
#4. Well on 16 and pregnant...or teen mom....or any of those other stupid shows. No! I do not want to hear about some kid who got pregnant and is now making money by exposing and glamorizing that life. Some of us fight with all we have for a baby and you accidentally get pregnant and get a show about it. Gross.
#5. He/she is in a better place. Yes, I know. And honestly that is sometimes all that gets me through. But again, you don't have to remind me. I want him HERE, in this place. So unless you can make that happen, hush!
TO SAY:
#1. That SUCKS!
#2. I'm sorry.
#3. You can have my baby.
#4. Oh, here is $50,000 so you can adopt or otherwise pursue a family.
#5. Wow! You look good! :)
I think I deterred from my original HOPE message, but I hope that if you've lost a baby, struggle with infertility (or whatever the case may be) you can find HOPE in stories like ours, in everyday miracles and in the HOPE that was born in a lowly manger so many years ago.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Quick update/prayer request
Hello all and thank you for following our crazy journey!
Just a quick follow up/update from the last post:
I have contacted Jennifer's friend, Jane and requested she meet with us and at least give us a chance to adopt this baby. She agreed and said she would be in contact sometime next week.
Please continue to pray that first and foremost God's will be done and that Jennifer can find a family that she feels comfortable with and trusts with her precious baby. Of course, we hope and pray and beg and plead that family is us, but we aren't in control of that. Pray for patience for us and, again, that Jane would see who we are: a family in love with Jesus and with open arms ready and waiting for another baby to love.
I had really struggled with the fact that we got so far along with Zion. Wondering why, if we were going to lose him it couldn't have happened much earlier...why not until we had put up the crib, etc? After hearing about this adoption opportunity and praying about that, it suddenly hit me...if we had lost Zion earlier (or later) we'd would be at a different place in life as far as grieving and the future of our family. But because we lost him when we did, we have this amazing opportunity...I am choosing to believe that is not a coincidence.
We can't thank you enough for your support and prayer!
Just a quick follow up/update from the last post:
I have contacted Jennifer's friend, Jane and requested she meet with us and at least give us a chance to adopt this baby. She agreed and said she would be in contact sometime next week.
Please continue to pray that first and foremost God's will be done and that Jennifer can find a family that she feels comfortable with and trusts with her precious baby. Of course, we hope and pray and beg and plead that family is us, but we aren't in control of that. Pray for patience for us and, again, that Jane would see who we are: a family in love with Jesus and with open arms ready and waiting for another baby to love.
I had really struggled with the fact that we got so far along with Zion. Wondering why, if we were going to lose him it couldn't have happened much earlier...why not until we had put up the crib, etc? After hearing about this adoption opportunity and praying about that, it suddenly hit me...if we had lost Zion earlier (or later) we'd would be at a different place in life as far as grieving and the future of our family. But because we lost him when we did, we have this amazing opportunity...I am choosing to believe that is not a coincidence.
We can't thank you enough for your support and prayer!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Hoping for a Christmas Miracle
Just wanted to throw out a quick update on the possible adoption situation. Apparently there were three families that showed interest in adopting the baby. One was ruled out by Jennifer's (birthmother) friend (Jane) and apparently Jane had already kind of decided on this other family. However, the secretary of the church (who has been my only contact point) Jane goes to asked her to at least interview both couples. Jane agreed but the interviews won't be until after Jan 1. Of course, my heart sank upon seeing that Jane had already kind of decided. Now, we are on our knees begging for an interview and that Jane would see how much love we already have for this baby. Please, PLEASE, pray that God would work in Jane and Jennifer's heart, to see our love and chose us to raise her precious baby. We are begging for a Christmas miracle. Please, join us!
We have also decided to postpone the surrogacy for at least a year for financial reasons. It's a lot of money that we just don't have and can't guarantee at this point in life. It hurts to have to do that and while outsiders continue to say, "Oh! That's probably a good idea." or "Yeah, understandable." the fact is, we should have our baby boy here now. The fact that we don't have $30,000 at our disposal shouldn't be the reason we can't bring our newborn home from the hospital. But there isn't much we can do about it. We obviously made this decision not knowing if the adoption would pan out or not, but at least having that hope helped ease the pain of having to postpone the surrogacy. In the midst of so much uncertainty and hope that is seemingly fading I can do nothing but cling to my Savior and hope for the best.
The best Christmas gift to us would be to pray! Please, pray for us!
We have also decided to postpone the surrogacy for at least a year for financial reasons. It's a lot of money that we just don't have and can't guarantee at this point in life. It hurts to have to do that and while outsiders continue to say, "Oh! That's probably a good idea." or "Yeah, understandable." the fact is, we should have our baby boy here now. The fact that we don't have $30,000 at our disposal shouldn't be the reason we can't bring our newborn home from the hospital. But there isn't much we can do about it. We obviously made this decision not knowing if the adoption would pan out or not, but at least having that hope helped ease the pain of having to postpone the surrogacy. In the midst of so much uncertainty and hope that is seemingly fading I can do nothing but cling to my Savior and hope for the best.
The best Christmas gift to us would be to pray! Please, pray for us!
Monday, November 29, 2010
I'm Thankful?
Sure.
As Thanksgiving was closing in on us I couldn't stop thinking about Zion and how I should have been packing up all the goodies a newborn needs, for his first trip to NE Iowa. I thought about our house that is not selling and getting harder and harder to keep clean. I thought about this baby, growing in a mother's tummy while she's in prison. I thought about how badly I want that baby to be part of our family and how little control I have over that. I was having a hard time being thankful. Yes, I KNOW...I have a house, food, clothes, an amazing family and friends, Seth has a job, we certainly don't lack any material things. But those aren't the things that are important anyway, right? I kind of feel as though we're frozen in this mid-leap state. So much of our life right now is hanging in the balance of something we have no control over. Will our house sell? Are we putting so much work and time into this new house in vain? Will this mother choose us to raise her baby? Will we have more children through surrogacy? Will I lose my mind trying to figure this all out? Probably, though it's not really for me to figure out. All I can do is hang on to my faith and wait. That's not so easy. The thing is, this could all work out SO wonderfully but it could also all go very poorly and based on our recent past, I'm stuck in the negative realm of assuming it will turn out badly. So, I guess I'm most thankful for my faith. I'm thankful for the road that led me to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, because without that, I really might find nothing to give thanks for this year. But because of Jesus I have hope and I am clinging to the promises of peace and good. Sometimes, that's all you can do. Sometimes, even that is hard.
In other news: Anyone want a dog? We got Hammer just a couple weeks after Zion passed away and I'm thinking that was an emotional decision. We had our puppy, Bella when we lost Elijah and I was thankful she was there to keep me company and cuddle on my lap. I think I was just hoping for that again, maybe a puppy would ease the pain? Welp, let me tell you what...I was WRONG! Hammer is actually a really good dog and super cute :) But the mix of a 2.5 year old/moody girl and a puppy is enough to put me over the edge. Grace spends most of the day antagonizing Hammer until he nips at her, at which point she kicks him, cries and throws him outside. Hammer comes back in and the cycle repeats. Constant whining from one or the other. I suppose this is much like having 2 kids, however, I don't like Hammer. We never really bonded so I don't really like him and see him as more of a pain in the butt than anything. Yes, I know I am a cold, heartless person, please forgive me! I admit it was a mistake, based on emotion. It happens...right? Plus, when we got Hammer we didn't know we'd be moving (hopefully) to a house with ALL new flooring, new furniture, no fence, etc. So anyway, Hammer who is a 5 month old Shorkie could really use a new home. If you have any interest, please let me know and I'll give you details. Also, please forgive me and don't judge me :)
We don't know much more about this pending adoption but really ask for prayers. I'm trying my hardest not to think about it and am even having a hard time praying about it because I'm so guarded and scared. So, I'm relying on the prayers of others for this one :) We hope to meet with the Pastor and the mother's friend, Jane here in a couple weeks. PRAY PRAY PRAY!
Grace is HILARIOUS! She's been talking a ton lately and making sense too. Some of my fave quotes.
The other day when Seth came out of our room ready for church: "Ooo, daddy handsome!"
I was laying in bed with her the other night and my stomach growled. (Gasp!) "Mommy! That come out of your bottom? Say cuse me!"
Talking to Hammer about having a party. I asked her what the party was for: "JESUS!!!"
I put her Vikings shirt on her the other day: "Oh! My team shirt! Go Bikings!"
Oh, there's lots more but that's what I remember right now.
That's all I got for now. Trying to get Christmas presents finished up, keep up with 2 houses and 1 moody toddler. I guess when it comes down to it I don't have much to complain about.
As Thanksgiving was closing in on us I couldn't stop thinking about Zion and how I should have been packing up all the goodies a newborn needs, for his first trip to NE Iowa. I thought about our house that is not selling and getting harder and harder to keep clean. I thought about this baby, growing in a mother's tummy while she's in prison. I thought about how badly I want that baby to be part of our family and how little control I have over that. I was having a hard time being thankful. Yes, I KNOW...I have a house, food, clothes, an amazing family and friends, Seth has a job, we certainly don't lack any material things. But those aren't the things that are important anyway, right? I kind of feel as though we're frozen in this mid-leap state. So much of our life right now is hanging in the balance of something we have no control over. Will our house sell? Are we putting so much work and time into this new house in vain? Will this mother choose us to raise her baby? Will we have more children through surrogacy? Will I lose my mind trying to figure this all out? Probably, though it's not really for me to figure out. All I can do is hang on to my faith and wait. That's not so easy. The thing is, this could all work out SO wonderfully but it could also all go very poorly and based on our recent past, I'm stuck in the negative realm of assuming it will turn out badly. So, I guess I'm most thankful for my faith. I'm thankful for the road that led me to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, because without that, I really might find nothing to give thanks for this year. But because of Jesus I have hope and I am clinging to the promises of peace and good. Sometimes, that's all you can do. Sometimes, even that is hard.
In other news: Anyone want a dog? We got Hammer just a couple weeks after Zion passed away and I'm thinking that was an emotional decision. We had our puppy, Bella when we lost Elijah and I was thankful she was there to keep me company and cuddle on my lap. I think I was just hoping for that again, maybe a puppy would ease the pain? Welp, let me tell you what...I was WRONG! Hammer is actually a really good dog and super cute :) But the mix of a 2.5 year old/moody girl and a puppy is enough to put me over the edge. Grace spends most of the day antagonizing Hammer until he nips at her, at which point she kicks him, cries and throws him outside. Hammer comes back in and the cycle repeats. Constant whining from one or the other. I suppose this is much like having 2 kids, however, I don't like Hammer. We never really bonded so I don't really like him and see him as more of a pain in the butt than anything. Yes, I know I am a cold, heartless person, please forgive me! I admit it was a mistake, based on emotion. It happens...right? Plus, when we got Hammer we didn't know we'd be moving (hopefully) to a house with ALL new flooring, new furniture, no fence, etc. So anyway, Hammer who is a 5 month old Shorkie could really use a new home. If you have any interest, please let me know and I'll give you details. Also, please forgive me and don't judge me :)
We don't know much more about this pending adoption but really ask for prayers. I'm trying my hardest not to think about it and am even having a hard time praying about it because I'm so guarded and scared. So, I'm relying on the prayers of others for this one :) We hope to meet with the Pastor and the mother's friend, Jane here in a couple weeks. PRAY PRAY PRAY!
Grace is HILARIOUS! She's been talking a ton lately and making sense too. Some of my fave quotes.
The other day when Seth came out of our room ready for church: "Ooo, daddy handsome!"
I was laying in bed with her the other night and my stomach growled. (Gasp!) "Mommy! That come out of your bottom? Say cuse me!"
Talking to Hammer about having a party. I asked her what the party was for: "JESUS!!!"
I put her Vikings shirt on her the other day: "Oh! My team shirt! Go Bikings!"
Oh, there's lots more but that's what I remember right now.
That's all I got for now. Trying to get Christmas presents finished up, keep up with 2 houses and 1 moody toddler. I guess when it comes down to it I don't have much to complain about.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The plot thickens...
My mom keeps pleading with me to try to keep our lives on a more even keel... BUT when you live by faith (or at try to) that isn't in your control. We apparently prefer things REALLY high or REALLY low...no in between.
A couple of days ago someone asked us if we would consider adopting again, OF COURSE WE WOULD!!!!!!!!!! We called the Pastor who had the information and know the following: there is a woman going to prison who is 1-2 months pregnant and looking for someone to adopt her baby...don't know much more than that. Doesn't matter, we've jumped on the opportunity and so we will meet with the Pastor and the birthmother's friend here in a few weeks who will pass info along and then the birthmother will choose a couple to adopt her baby. Of course we are jumping out of our skin, giddy, can't sleep excited about this opportunity and are super anxious to see what God has in store. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for this situation. Pray that, (God willing) the Pastor, Jane (bm's friend) and birthmother would see the love we have for children and they would trust us with this precious life. Pray for the birthmother too, she has a lot to deal with and no matter her past deserves love and prayer. I'm crying my eyes out as I write this, in awe of God's provision and splendor at just the thought of being able to adopt again. Next to our bed we have a shelf with a picture of each of our precious angel boys. I look at Elijah's picture and I see Grace. I see how his life was a sacrifice for hers, I see how God worked for the good. I look at Zion's picture and pray that his life would save another! Weather by bringing someone to faith or by adoption, whatever the case may be. We are super excited about the surrogacy and chose that path to provide hope, but the beauty of adoption is being able to help someone else. If both (adoption and surrogacy) were free and we were guaranteed a baby we would choose adoption but in this situation we felt we had more control and less risk if we went with the surrogacy...but WHO KNOWS what God has in store. We know there are more children in our future and we pray that the journey to get there would be blessed.
"My friend, you know how this all ends.
and you know where you're going
you just don't know how you'll get there.
So say a prayer and hold on
cause there's good for those who love God.
Life is not a snapshot
it might take a little time
but you'll see the bigger picture." -- Before the Morning by Josh Wilson
So please, friends...pray for us and our journey!
Of course, we'll keep you updated :)
A couple of days ago someone asked us if we would consider adopting again, OF COURSE WE WOULD!!!!!!!!!! We called the Pastor who had the information and know the following: there is a woman going to prison who is 1-2 months pregnant and looking for someone to adopt her baby...don't know much more than that. Doesn't matter, we've jumped on the opportunity and so we will meet with the Pastor and the birthmother's friend here in a few weeks who will pass info along and then the birthmother will choose a couple to adopt her baby. Of course we are jumping out of our skin, giddy, can't sleep excited about this opportunity and are super anxious to see what God has in store. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for this situation. Pray that, (God willing) the Pastor, Jane (bm's friend) and birthmother would see the love we have for children and they would trust us with this precious life. Pray for the birthmother too, she has a lot to deal with and no matter her past deserves love and prayer. I'm crying my eyes out as I write this, in awe of God's provision and splendor at just the thought of being able to adopt again. Next to our bed we have a shelf with a picture of each of our precious angel boys. I look at Elijah's picture and I see Grace. I see how his life was a sacrifice for hers, I see how God worked for the good. I look at Zion's picture and pray that his life would save another! Weather by bringing someone to faith or by adoption, whatever the case may be. We are super excited about the surrogacy and chose that path to provide hope, but the beauty of adoption is being able to help someone else. If both (adoption and surrogacy) were free and we were guaranteed a baby we would choose adoption but in this situation we felt we had more control and less risk if we went with the surrogacy...but WHO KNOWS what God has in store. We know there are more children in our future and we pray that the journey to get there would be blessed.
"My friend, you know how this all ends.
and you know where you're going
you just don't know how you'll get there.
So say a prayer and hold on
cause there's good for those who love God.
Life is not a snapshot
it might take a little time
but you'll see the bigger picture." -- Before the Morning by Josh Wilson
So please, friends...pray for us and our journey!
Of course, we'll keep you updated :)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Here, there and everywhere!
Completely random thoughts, ideas, feelings, stories & questions.
#1. Instead of making/selling rug pads separately to prevent your rugs from slipping...why don't they just make rugs that don't slip? I mean who WANTS their rug moving all over the place?
#2. Tonight Grace had the hiccups. For the first 10 or so hiccups she very politely said, "Excuse me." after every single hiccup.
#3. I laid next to Grace to pray with her before bed...she rolled over, gave me a hug and said, "We friends mommy. We friends." I cried...
#4. I am losing my voice...that has NEVER happened. I suppose after 29 years of talking, it was bound to happen.
#5. Last weekend was a little rough. I was sick, Seth's truck broke, then wasn't broken, then his saw broke, but wasn't broke, and my mom was here and she was sick and we were all thinking about how we should have been home with our new son by now. So...Monday am rolled around and Seth headed to work and Grace and I went about our normal routine. We were headed to Target (we were literally OUT of toilet paper) and stopped to see Seth, at which point he informs me his saw broke and said, "I feel like the world is crashing in on us. Why can't SOMETHING good just happen." Seth, is not exactly a dramatic person so I knew he meant business. For some reason I burst into tears, Seth got upset, packed up and we all headed home. Except to our "new house" After about an hr. there, I realized we weren't upset anymore. We were laughing and having fun. As the week went on and we spent more time at the "new house" I realized that there is a different feeling there. Of hope and happiness. Our house is filled with memories, but the ones that stand out the most are bad. We bought this house as newlyweds, both employed full time, on the go, never home, 20-somethings. We made it our own and grew into it as a family. But we aren't those people anymore. We need more space and mostly...we need to get away from the baggage here. The 2 rooms meant for our 2 sons, where they will never lay. It also makes me miss my job and all the students I worked with! At the new house, I see a constant flow of friends and family, a room big enough for twin babies :) and table to eat at! It gives us something to look forward to and...it's strange...I'm not big on "energies" and "vibes and what not...but there is definitely a different feeling....a good one. We love being there. Someone, please come buy our baggage :)
#6. Did you know there was an election on Tuesday? Of course you did! Well, I heard something very simply, yet profound on the radio on Wednesday. "The answer to America's problems is NOT political. It's spiritual." Wait a minute! You mean ONE man/woman can't solve the worlds problems? You mean, we SHOULDN'T put all our trust in another sinner's hands? You mean there is something greater than Obama? Could it be? Shesh...what if we gave up talking about Republicans, Democrats, who voted for this, who voted for that, should the government control this, should the people control that...they/we ALL suck anyway. What if instead...we prayed. Because the God I believe in is far more powerful than even Obama or the Supreme Court. The God I believe in cares about people and morals, not popularity or money. The God I believe in can fix ALL our problems with no debt, no voting and NO political commercials. Next time, let's all vote for Jesus!
#7. Flannel sheets are amazing.
#8. CHRISTMAS IS STUPID!!! That's right, I said it! Christmas is stupid. Let's be honest here, while the intent of Christmas is great and I am a BIG fan of the reason behind it what Christmas has become is pathetic and stupid! I really get a kick out of terms like "Religious Christmas cards" or "Religious Christmas decorations" I mean I thought Christmas was a religious holiday. But really Christmas is OUR holiday. It's about US, who has the best Christmas decorations, who can throw the best Christmas party, delicious food, Christmas bonuses and of course, presents. What does any of that have to do with baby Jesus being born? Other than the Wisemen brought gifts....TO JESUS...not themselves. I propose Christmas all year round. I would rather see something at a store that reminds me of someone and give it to them to simply say, "I thought of you. I love you." I propose we gather together as families on a regular basis, not because it's a holiday and we have to but because we realize the true gift of family and we want to be together. I propose hosting a Christmas party in the middle of January to get friends together to fellowship. Business should give out bonuses for citizenship and achieving goals. I've attempted to boycott Christmas the past couple years to make a point about the commercialization of it all...but when everyone buys us presents I feel pretty bad not getting anyone else anything. :) I'll confess, I like Christmas. The warm, fuzzy feeling of family in a warm house (unless you are a Shonley:), Christmas Eve church, watching my daughter's face light up with every present she opens. BUT, I don't like the worldly Christmas. I guess I'm pushing for the "Religious Christmas."
#9. Church Shopping. We've been trying to find the "right" church for us for a while now. Seth grew up in the same church his whole life where his family still attends and after working as the youth director at GLC for 5 years the concept of choosing a church to attend is still a little odd. Just trying to find out where we fit in together...as our family. I think we've finally stumbled upon something...time will tell.
#10. I LOVE Crossword puzzles. Just call me Stanley :)
#11. Yeah...my brain is slipping...enough randomness for today!
#1. Instead of making/selling rug pads separately to prevent your rugs from slipping...why don't they just make rugs that don't slip? I mean who WANTS their rug moving all over the place?
#2. Tonight Grace had the hiccups. For the first 10 or so hiccups she very politely said, "Excuse me." after every single hiccup.
#3. I laid next to Grace to pray with her before bed...she rolled over, gave me a hug and said, "We friends mommy. We friends." I cried...
#4. I am losing my voice...that has NEVER happened. I suppose after 29 years of talking, it was bound to happen.
#5. Last weekend was a little rough. I was sick, Seth's truck broke, then wasn't broken, then his saw broke, but wasn't broke, and my mom was here and she was sick and we were all thinking about how we should have been home with our new son by now. So...Monday am rolled around and Seth headed to work and Grace and I went about our normal routine. We were headed to Target (we were literally OUT of toilet paper) and stopped to see Seth, at which point he informs me his saw broke and said, "I feel like the world is crashing in on us. Why can't SOMETHING good just happen." Seth, is not exactly a dramatic person so I knew he meant business. For some reason I burst into tears, Seth got upset, packed up and we all headed home. Except to our "new house" After about an hr. there, I realized we weren't upset anymore. We were laughing and having fun. As the week went on and we spent more time at the "new house" I realized that there is a different feeling there. Of hope and happiness. Our house is filled with memories, but the ones that stand out the most are bad. We bought this house as newlyweds, both employed full time, on the go, never home, 20-somethings. We made it our own and grew into it as a family. But we aren't those people anymore. We need more space and mostly...we need to get away from the baggage here. The 2 rooms meant for our 2 sons, where they will never lay. It also makes me miss my job and all the students I worked with! At the new house, I see a constant flow of friends and family, a room big enough for twin babies :) and table to eat at! It gives us something to look forward to and...it's strange...I'm not big on "energies" and "vibes and what not...but there is definitely a different feeling....a good one. We love being there. Someone, please come buy our baggage :)
#6. Did you know there was an election on Tuesday? Of course you did! Well, I heard something very simply, yet profound on the radio on Wednesday. "The answer to America's problems is NOT political. It's spiritual." Wait a minute! You mean ONE man/woman can't solve the worlds problems? You mean, we SHOULDN'T put all our trust in another sinner's hands? You mean there is something greater than Obama? Could it be? Shesh...what if we gave up talking about Republicans, Democrats, who voted for this, who voted for that, should the government control this, should the people control that...they/we ALL suck anyway. What if instead...we prayed. Because the God I believe in is far more powerful than even Obama or the Supreme Court. The God I believe in cares about people and morals, not popularity or money. The God I believe in can fix ALL our problems with no debt, no voting and NO political commercials. Next time, let's all vote for Jesus!
#7. Flannel sheets are amazing.
#8. CHRISTMAS IS STUPID!!! That's right, I said it! Christmas is stupid. Let's be honest here, while the intent of Christmas is great and I am a BIG fan of the reason behind it what Christmas has become is pathetic and stupid! I really get a kick out of terms like "Religious Christmas cards" or "Religious Christmas decorations" I mean I thought Christmas was a religious holiday. But really Christmas is OUR holiday. It's about US, who has the best Christmas decorations, who can throw the best Christmas party, delicious food, Christmas bonuses and of course, presents. What does any of that have to do with baby Jesus being born? Other than the Wisemen brought gifts....TO JESUS...not themselves. I propose Christmas all year round. I would rather see something at a store that reminds me of someone and give it to them to simply say, "I thought of you. I love you." I propose we gather together as families on a regular basis, not because it's a holiday and we have to but because we realize the true gift of family and we want to be together. I propose hosting a Christmas party in the middle of January to get friends together to fellowship. Business should give out bonuses for citizenship and achieving goals. I've attempted to boycott Christmas the past couple years to make a point about the commercialization of it all...but when everyone buys us presents I feel pretty bad not getting anyone else anything. :) I'll confess, I like Christmas. The warm, fuzzy feeling of family in a warm house (unless you are a Shonley:), Christmas Eve church, watching my daughter's face light up with every present she opens. BUT, I don't like the worldly Christmas. I guess I'm pushing for the "Religious Christmas."
#9. Church Shopping. We've been trying to find the "right" church for us for a while now. Seth grew up in the same church his whole life where his family still attends and after working as the youth director at GLC for 5 years the concept of choosing a church to attend is still a little odd. Just trying to find out where we fit in together...as our family. I think we've finally stumbled upon something...time will tell.
#10. I LOVE Crossword puzzles. Just call me Stanley :)
#11. Yeah...my brain is slipping...enough randomness for today!
Found this in our flower boxes. WHAT THE HECK IS IT??????????????
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